It’s Personal Campaign

Stephanie Phillips

Age: 28

CO

James Pribram

James' Brush With Breast Cancer

Being a man, I would have never thought that one day I would need a mammogram. So you can imagine my shock at discovering a strange lump under my right nipple. I can remember the very moment, fifteen months ago, that something was wrong.

As I picked up my surfboard that day, it brushed across my right nipple and felt as if a razor blade had sliced it off. Although the pain continued to feel unimaginable, I wrote off the lump beneath my right nipple as scar tissue from all my years of serious surfing. After ignoring the lump for several months, my girlfriend convinced me to finally have it checked out. The doctor insisted that there was something there, and proceeded to order a mammogram. As I sat in the waiting room, surrounded by nearly a dozen women, I couldn't help but suddenly to feel deeply connected to their feelings, their thoughts, and their fears.

When it came time for the biopsy, the procedure went completely awry. The doctor couldn't stop the bleeding, but he also refused to give me pain medication. Because the tumor was so hard, the needle kept slipping out of it. They ultimately resorted to a puncture biopsy, a procedure that requires pain medication. Almost seven hours later, I was rushed to the emergency room -- the bleeding still hadn't stopped. It took a couple stitches and a fair amount of pain medication before I was released. While the experience was more than excruciating, I'm incredibly fortunate that the tumor came back benign and today I am in fact cancer free-- but from today forward I am forever changed. I have compassion, understanding and most of all I want to be a part of the movement. I want to raise awareness in whatever way I can be it surfing, traveling , showing up to a benefit or sitting next to someone who is walking through this disease.

James Pribram

Eco Warrior.

Living a healthy and active lifestyle and spreading a positive message goes far beyond just my love for snowboarding. A few members in my family have struggled with cancer, one being my father, who passed away from lung cancer when I was 14. Having so many of my loved ones go down this disease stricken path, helped me realize that I needed to take care of my body now, in order for it to stay strong longer. Teaming up with B4BC has given me an opportunity to spread a positive message about staying active and living a healthy lifestyle. I love the outdoors and when I am not snowboarding, I am doing yoga, hiking, biking, running, rock climbing, and pairing that with a well- balanced diet. By treating my body good now, I hope I am giving it more longevity later.

The diagnosis of breast cancer is devastating news at any age. When I was diagnosed at 23 every part of me changed. Facing a life threatening illness before I ever graduated from college threw my life into overdrive. I knew that this disease affected thousands of others, yet it was hard for me to relate to the other women at my clinic because all of them were twice as old as I was. I found a strange independence through learning how to deal alone with a bald head or reassuring myself that my peers would not think any differently of me because of the physical changes I had been through. I could talk to family and friends during this strange time, but it was more like telling a story instead of talking to someone who really understood.

I discovered B4BC two years after my diagnosis. I picked up Tina’s book in a bookstore and opened it directly to the chapter about Monica’s story and the creation of B4BC. Since I live in Aspen I called B4BC to see if I could do anything when they were coming in town for the Winter XGames. Justine and I became fast friends and I enjoyed every minute spent with each person associated with the organization. 

Discovering B4BC has helped me to continue my path of healing by educating and helping other young adults. The mission is so simple, yet so essential to helping women and men understand the importance of being proactive about their health. It’s important for other young adults to be able to access an organization that can put you in direct contact with people who may also feel your pain. 

I have always told others that the surgery and chemo took the cancer away, but maintaining a positive attitude has helped me to continue to stay healthy physically and emotionally. There are many people that have taken me to the next level of healing. B4BC remains at the top of that list. My dedication to B4BC is beyond what it was 2 years ago and I am confident that soon there will be young survivors that won’t have to start their journey alone as I did.

To me, cancer is one of the most unfortunate afflictions in the world. It’s devastating and I wouldn’t wish it upon anybody. About two years ago, my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. It had a vast effect on my family. But when she stayed strong, pushed through and became a cancer survivor, we felt such overwhelming relief. I saw the strength that was needed to get through the hardship and it made me realize that I wanted to do everything I could to help prevent myself from cancer. When I was introduced to B4BC, I was very glad to join the team. Now, I can use my passion for skateboarding as a way to help myself stay healthy and active to help prevent cancer.

I still remember the day, over a year ago now, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 31. It was the Monday of midterm’s week in my second year of business school. I was over $100,000 into debt to pay for school and then this cancer?



After two second opinions, including a trip to M.D. Anderson in Houston, I opted for a lumpectomy. Two days before Thanksgiving I had my surgery, coordinated so I could take the least amount of time off from classes and interviews. My surgery results were good, and chemo was imminent. Before chemo could begin, I completed egg harvesting (13 baby Katie eggs on ice). In order to finish chemotherapy before graduation, I had to start my first chemo cycle before I had the results of my Oncotype DX test. That ended being okay, though, because the test confirmed the need for chemo. I had a total of six chemo cycles and then 37 days of radiation. I just barely pulled it off, but the treatment was complete just three days before graduation, phew! 



For some survivors, certain specific days are etched into their minds. I remember diagnosis day 10/16, surgery 11/21, first day of chemo 12/11, New Year’s Day with no stamina, my birthday, when chemo was cancelled by an ice storm 1/17, last day of radiation 5/15, etc. As a young adult, I also had unique concerns. How could I continue to finish my MBA? Would I need to cancel my semester abroad? Would my friends stand by me? Could I date, even when bald? How could I keep my parents from treating me like a baby, but also ask them to look after me? Could I still have my own babies? What about my job interviews? One of the hardest things was balancing my desire to continue leading my life and the need to treat my cancer.



I did need to cancel my semester abroad (chemo in another country seemed just too complicated, though I would have loved to be the bald girl who conquered Europe). As a result, I was determined to participate in a two-week intensive business course in China, which took place between my fifth and sixth chemo infusions. One of my favorite photos is of me, bald, at the top of the Great Wall of China. My oncology nurse loves that you can see my pollution-filtering mask hanging around my neck. (She and my oncologist had lobbied hard and convinced me to wear the mask, especially in Beijing.) 



Chemo was a low point of treatment. My clothes no longer fit me; my stomach was bloated from the steroids. Some nights, as I cried in my bed, I wished I could just sleep the night through. My saviors were my friends and family who stuck strong by me, sometimes even too strong! Yes, at times, I needed to push back and ask for my space. But after having cancer, traveling, finishing my MBA, and exercising even when weak, I realized one of the most comforting things: I am not alone. While each of us is unique in our battle with cancer, I am ever-thankful of the companionship I have found amongst other cancer survivors. 

My Essay: The “Benefits” of Cancer has taught me so many things, but these are the three that resound most:


1. Control

2. Passion

3. Camaraderie



I have always been a bit of a control freak, and often planned my life down to the last detail. When cancer struck, I was in the midst of interviewing for a new career and completing my MBA. Control was taken away from me by my diagnosis, and, for a while, I did not know what each day would bring, making it impossible to plan ahead. This has relieved a huge amount of stress in my day-to-day life. I no longer feel the need to plan every detail, and I am more accepting of the fact that I cannot control everything. 



Before cancer I never really felt passion, not for a person, not for a cause. Now I am starting to understand what it means to feel passion: passion to learn more about cancer, passion to improve my own health and body, and passion to find ways to help other young adult cancer survivors. I hope to gain a better understanding of how my mental strength can be transformed into physical strength and wellness. 


One of the best things I have gained from cancer is my network of new friends. In Austin, Texas, where I was in graduate school, I became a member of the Pink Ribbon Cowgirls. I met other young women who faced breast cancer, and we shared stories, advice and support. I learned even more about cancer, about how differently each person faces cancer, and how no two experiences are the same. When I moved to California, I met a similar group in the San Francisco Bay Area. I’ve also met casual friends and acquaintances in many places, from the bookstore to an airplane, who share their own stories with me. One time, while shopping, a random woman stopped me (I was bald at the time) and asked me about my story; we talked for a while. My friend came up to me later and said how annoying she thought that must have been. But it wasn’t. I cherish any opportunity I have to share my story with others and listen to what they may have to say. This past summer I was fortunate to be able to spend six days with the First Descents program, learning to white-water kayak with other young adult cancer survivors. Together, facing a challenge of a brand new sport, we found quick support in each other and the varied intensities of each other’s stories.



There are other benefits as well. My list grows longer all the time. Even so, I would never wish this upon anyone. It is a challenging battle and it one I am happy to be through.

I think Breast Cancer is personal for everyone now-a-days. As I stride into my 30’s I’d find myself hard-pressed to find someone who hasn’t been effected themselves in some way; whether a mammogram scare, a family member, friend or co-worker who survived or didn’t.  My story seems to leave people wishing they didn’t ask so I often don’t tell the whole story.


When I was seven my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer; she was 45. I initially grew up living an “alternative lifestyle”, when I was born we didn’t have electricity or running water.  My dad ran a co-op and my mom raised me in a home my parents built in rural upstate New York.  My dad used to brag I never had an ear infection as a child as I was weaned on goat’s milk, brewer’s yeast and black strap molasses.  Once I had kids myself I realized the reason I never had an ear infection is because I probably never went to the doctor.  Early detection was not on my mom’s radar.  She had previously had breast cysts and assumed the one on her left breast was a cyst as well.  It wasn’t.  It grew and festered until it burst through her skin resulting in what looked like to my seven year old eyes a raw and oozy puss filled volcano coming out of her upper breast. She changed bandages daily and went for radiation treatment. By this time we had moved to the nearby city of Rochester, NY where I went to school, my parents separated and my mom sought treatment locally and abroad.

  
 Before my mom’s last trip to the Bahamas for treatment I remember screaming and crying for her not to go on this trip.  Something bad was going to happen.  I was certain and I was right.  My mom came home in a wheel chair after contracting pneumonia and was bed ridden for the remainder of the winter.  My mom chose to do at home hospice and we were truly blessed that our closest family friends and neighbors provided most of her care. I never had to sit in the nauseating stench of hospital rooms and be told to be quiet.  My friends and I played while their moms cared for her and wondered what would become of me, a girl without a mother.

Friday April 7th, the day before my 9th Birthday my mom passed away at home.  Sunday April 9th I had my 9th birthday party at our neighbors.  That was the least painful celebration.  I didn’t know at the time that losing your mom at such a young age meant you were embarrassed to tell your dad when you got your period for the first time.  You went first time bra shopping alone while your dad explained the situation to the nice lady at the mall and then sat outside, coming in only to pay.  I went prom dress shopping with a friend and a credit card.  I went bridal dress shopping by myself.  My mom missed the birth of her first grandchild and her second.  I missed asking her, “How did you do this with no electricity or running water? What were you thinking?”


But losing my mom at such a young age was also a blessing. It made me, me. You have to be strong.  You have to figure out how to do it on your own.  You have to know what to say to your friend whose breast cancer has returned and now she is dying in the hospital with her 10 year old daughter playing in the waiting room. I suggested she write letters to her daughter for each of her major life milestones.  Her daughter would then have a letter to open on her prom night, her wedding night and then birth of her first child. I would have really liked to have that. 
 When I started dating my husband he said, “We’ve got to get you snowboarding”. So we did.  He taught me and I fell in love with the whole experience; our time driving to the mountains together, being outside and the thrill of riding down a mountain together.  I love knowing it’s a mountain day so french fries and hot chocolate totally count as lunch.  I really love that all the girls I know who ride totally support each other and no one rags on anyone because they are last down or bit it off a rail.  When I first heard about a B4BC event at our local mountain, I was so proud.  Here were two things dear to my heart all rolled up into one great package.  As B4BC grew, so did a close friend’s involvement in the organization.  Of course I was happy to write a short piece about why it’s personal to me.


It became even more personal last year when the hospital called back after a mammogram screening caught something and asked me to come in for a biopsy follow up.  “Really?” I thought, “Already?”  I was expecting follow up appointments later in life but not at 30.  The biopsy came back normal but I have more frequent screenings now.  One of my favorite things about B4BC is their emphasis on early detection.  Breast cancer effects women of all ages and all women should know how their breasts feel and what is normal.  Could early detection have saved my mom’s life?  I don’t know, but I do know it’s personal to me and I am proud to support B4BC.